From Here To Somewhere

Sometimes life has a way of confronting you with who you are.  It's a hodgepodge of past, present and future.  Who you were/were not, who you are/are not, and who you will/will not be.  The past can reveal a lot about who we are now and the only thing we can change is who we will become.  I've recently discovered a lot about myself.  Anyone who knows me (or at least tries to know me) knows that I'm very introverted and really don't give much attention to the world around me.  This has led me along a very dangerous road.

When we just let the world pass us by without any particular goals, dreams or destination not only are we hurting ourselves, but those we love.  For myself, I think it started when the things I used to be able to control got out of hand.  It was if I couldn't handle my life anymore.  This is just one of many examples of how life comes with it's ebbs and flows.  Sometimes we can manage and other times we either ask for help or we just let the waves smack us against the nearby cliffs.

I've let myself be tossed by the waves and I am shipwrecked.  I don't know where I am or where I'm going and I can only hope for the dawn of a new day.  My faith and determination are lacking and there seems to be no clear direction.  Self-confidence has all but disappeared and there is little encouragement to be found.  Echoes of faith-filled words surround me as I try to find their origin.  Do I move forward without direction or do I sit and wait?  My own passivity is what brought me here to begin with so I must move forward.  It is vital that I move even if I don't know where I'm going.

My heart longs to know the joy of life again.  I am lost, but I must move forward.  My hope is that there is more than I can see; that peace and joy can be found again.  There is truth in the notion that when we are brought low by our own doing we have more to gain than to lose.  I know in my heart that God will see me through and bring me to a place of true peace and joy again.

Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.  -Isaiah 46:4