Being a new father has brought with it a wealth of new experiences. I've been able to watch my daughter go from being tiny and completely helpless to needy, but full of life and personality in the last seven months. This has caused me to look more at myself and wonder if I have grown as much as I could in the past seven months. Am I helpless or am I the one helping? Do others look at me with disillusion or do they desire something that I have?
After spending last weekend in the Dallas area visiting my family we had a long trip back to Tulsa. While driving I had a lot of time to reflect on my life and then it hit me. God has placed a calling on my life and that hasn't changed. I remembered a pastoral leadership class I had my senior year of college and one of our assignments was to outline our own funeral service. It sounds strange, but aside from the technical details of music, readings, etc. it posed the question, "how do you want to be remembered?"
The best summation I had was found in Acts 20:24. Paul believed that his life was worth nothing unless he was using it to share the grace of God with others. I think too often we complicate what God has for us. When people ask me what the purpose of a Christ-follower is I tell them: "To know Him and to make Him known." --period!!!
I think my wife may have said it best when she said that it's not that you aren't where you should be, but you're not where you could be. I'm definitely not where I could be spiritually, but there is a forgotten reality that there is no should be. We strive to be more like Christ, but we will never be like Him therefore it is a continual pursuit with no end. We say we're trying to get there when there is no there.
Being a follower of Christ doesn't mean that we have to be one person on Sunday and Wednesday and another person the rest of the time. It doesn't mean we have to dress or act differently because we're at church. It does mean pursuing God daily, spending time with Him and allowing the Holy Spirit to work in us that we might become more like Christ. If we change who we are for the people of the church, we are a hypocrite. If we allow Christ to change us then we have truly experienced life-change.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Dare To Dream Again
It seems as though too often we have dreams for ourselves. Some are well within reach, others perhaps not so much. There are those dreams that we quickly dismiss as short-term fantasies and there are others that become the forefront of who we are and the direction our life goes. But how many of us have dreams that were only halfway reached and then forgotten?
For me it seems as though some of my dreams have been left in limbo. Sure I have accomplished goals in life, but dreams have taken a backseat for a while. Everyone that has asked me anything about my dreams has lead me to the same conclusion: either I have fulfilled all of my dreams, forgotten about them or never really had any in the first place. Unfortunately it seems to be some complicated mixture of all these.
I spent the the early years of my adolescence dreaming of being a youth minister. Strangely, the later years of adolescence were spent running from that dream. At some point about halfway through college something changed and the dream was renewed. I soon took on more roles in my church's youth ministry and was eventually brought on staff. After being there a few years and graduating college I decided to do what seemed like the next logical step. I went to seminary. That's when the path I was on came to a screeching halt.
No matter what anyone that knows me believes, it was not people that changed me. After my first semester everything that I believed had been so severely challenged that I was left not knowing what I believed anymore. I continued on for another semester and then decided that I might not be who I thought I was and that maybe ministry was not my calling after all. Soon after I moved and began a new journey.
That was almost three years ago and now I wonder if there was a hint of clarity in the midst of all the confusion and change. Was I dreaming what I convinced myself to dream or was it taking hold of God's calling on my life? Despite years of confusion, I do know that God has called me to something great. Every day I have to make the choice to take a blind step of faith forward or to look back down where I've been before. The path that moves me forward is the one that dares me to dream again, to fall in love with Christ like never before and to be intoxicated with His Spirit.
It might not make much sense now, but part of the journey is learning as we go. To live everyday in a genuine pursuit of God; learning to be a better man, a better husband and a better father.
"An authentic life is the most personal form of worship. Everyday life has become my prayer." -Sarah Ban Breathnach
For me it seems as though some of my dreams have been left in limbo. Sure I have accomplished goals in life, but dreams have taken a backseat for a while. Everyone that has asked me anything about my dreams has lead me to the same conclusion: either I have fulfilled all of my dreams, forgotten about them or never really had any in the first place. Unfortunately it seems to be some complicated mixture of all these.
I spent the the early years of my adolescence dreaming of being a youth minister. Strangely, the later years of adolescence were spent running from that dream. At some point about halfway through college something changed and the dream was renewed. I soon took on more roles in my church's youth ministry and was eventually brought on staff. After being there a few years and graduating college I decided to do what seemed like the next logical step. I went to seminary. That's when the path I was on came to a screeching halt.
No matter what anyone that knows me believes, it was not people that changed me. After my first semester everything that I believed had been so severely challenged that I was left not knowing what I believed anymore. I continued on for another semester and then decided that I might not be who I thought I was and that maybe ministry was not my calling after all. Soon after I moved and began a new journey.
That was almost three years ago and now I wonder if there was a hint of clarity in the midst of all the confusion and change. Was I dreaming what I convinced myself to dream or was it taking hold of God's calling on my life? Despite years of confusion, I do know that God has called me to something great. Every day I have to make the choice to take a blind step of faith forward or to look back down where I've been before. The path that moves me forward is the one that dares me to dream again, to fall in love with Christ like never before and to be intoxicated with His Spirit.
It might not make much sense now, but part of the journey is learning as we go. To live everyday in a genuine pursuit of God; learning to be a better man, a better husband and a better father.
"An authentic life is the most personal form of worship. Everyday life has become my prayer." -Sarah Ban Breathnach
Saturday, December 13, 2008
The Guardrail
I was recently in Kansas City with my wife and daughter spending some time getting away and visiting some old friends. While we were there I was able to have a very encouraging and engaging conversation with our friend Sara’s husband, Chris. Although I don’t know him that well, it was great to be able to discuss a wide variety of topics (mostly of the spiritual nature) that interest me and are relevant to my current status in life.
Among the topics discussed was that of life boundaries and how it’s almost as if God has given us a guardrail. If we live outside the boundary of the guardrail, we live in a false sense of freedom. We do what we want, when we want and how we want thus becoming not free, but instead a slave to our own sin. When we choose to hang onto the rail because it is the standard that God has given us, we become fixated on it. Soon we are leading a legalistic life; believing that we have to do everything “by the Book” and if we or anyone else doesn’t they should be condemned. We focus on all the things we can’t do or shouldn’t do outside of the guardrail. But there is a whole other dimension to the boundaries God has given us.
Within the guardrail is all that God has given us, the ability to do all the things that we can do and therein lies the blessing of true spiritual freedom. In His word God teaches us the difference between living a life outside of His boundaries and a life lived within the blessed life that He has intended for us. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly” (John 10:10 NASB). God has given us boundaries not simply to define the difference between right and wrong, but rather to show a contrast between a life of pain and suffering, and a life of joy and fulfillment.
So where do we choose to live our life? Do we live a life of slavery and a false sense of freedom? Perhaps we spend our time on the guardrail believing that God has given us a rulebook and slip into a life of legalism where we never venture too far into a sinful or God-filled life. But how many of us realize that there is so much more behind the boundary of the guardrail. Behind the guardrail is the life of abundance, joy, fulfillment and true freedom that we desire for our lives. The guardrail shows us not what we’re missing out on beyond it, but rather all the blessings we have within it.
Among the topics discussed was that of life boundaries and how it’s almost as if God has given us a guardrail. If we live outside the boundary of the guardrail, we live in a false sense of freedom. We do what we want, when we want and how we want thus becoming not free, but instead a slave to our own sin. When we choose to hang onto the rail because it is the standard that God has given us, we become fixated on it. Soon we are leading a legalistic life; believing that we have to do everything “by the Book” and if we or anyone else doesn’t they should be condemned. We focus on all the things we can’t do or shouldn’t do outside of the guardrail. But there is a whole other dimension to the boundaries God has given us.
Within the guardrail is all that God has given us, the ability to do all the things that we can do and therein lies the blessing of true spiritual freedom. In His word God teaches us the difference between living a life outside of His boundaries and a life lived within the blessed life that He has intended for us. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly” (John 10:10 NASB). God has given us boundaries not simply to define the difference between right and wrong, but rather to show a contrast between a life of pain and suffering, and a life of joy and fulfillment.
So where do we choose to live our life? Do we live a life of slavery and a false sense of freedom? Perhaps we spend our time on the guardrail believing that God has given us a rulebook and slip into a life of legalism where we never venture too far into a sinful or God-filled life. But how many of us realize that there is so much more behind the boundary of the guardrail. Behind the guardrail is the life of abundance, joy, fulfillment and true freedom that we desire for our lives. The guardrail shows us not what we’re missing out on beyond it, but rather all the blessings we have within it.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
5 Years Running
The other day I was thinking over the past five years and what has defined me during that time. If you knew me five years ago the top three things that would likely define me would be: minister, teacher, and student. Fast forward to now and it would be quite different: husband, father, and...retail manager? So why are things so different? Or are they? That would mostly depend on who you ask.
I've spent the past five years or so in a state of constant change. It's as if the course and perhaps even the destination of my life has changed. However, I believe that there is a sovereign God who has a perfect plan for us. That doesn't mean that our lives are always going to make sense. It simply means that He knows what He's doing even when we don't have a clue what's going on.
People might not define me in the same way as they did five years ago, but that should not and does not disappoint me. I have made decisions in my life that have brought about drastic changes in the circumstances of my life. Not all of those decisions were wise let alone God-honoring, but the grace of God has shown me that He is so much bigger than our mistakes and will never forget His promises to us.
I am now starting to realize that I have been frustrated with some of the conditions of my life because God has not forgotten the calling He has placed on my life. He is renewing that call. I might not fully understand it now and I probably never will. What I do know is simple; that I am to walk with Him daily and hold onto the "life-verse" that He put on my heart years ago.
But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus—the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God. -Acts 20:24 NLT
What will my life look like five years from now?
I've spent the past five years or so in a state of constant change. It's as if the course and perhaps even the destination of my life has changed. However, I believe that there is a sovereign God who has a perfect plan for us. That doesn't mean that our lives are always going to make sense. It simply means that He knows what He's doing even when we don't have a clue what's going on.
People might not define me in the same way as they did five years ago, but that should not and does not disappoint me. I have made decisions in my life that have brought about drastic changes in the circumstances of my life. Not all of those decisions were wise let alone God-honoring, but the grace of God has shown me that He is so much bigger than our mistakes and will never forget His promises to us.
I am now starting to realize that I have been frustrated with some of the conditions of my life because God has not forgotten the calling He has placed on my life. He is renewing that call. I might not fully understand it now and I probably never will. What I do know is simple; that I am to walk with Him daily and hold onto the "life-verse" that He put on my heart years ago.
But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus—the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God. -Acts 20:24 NLT
What will my life look like five years from now?
A Brief Introduction
I recently decided (with some encouragement from my wife) to start a blog. There are numerous reasons for this, most of which include the multitude of random thoughts that go through my head on a daily basis. Will anything I say be able to encourage, enlighten, or befuddle anyone? Maybe, but that is not my intention. It is merely to express my views and experiences in a matter that presents itself as more "food for thought" than anything. Perhaps it will do more and I pray that it does. The blog title is meant to reflect my attitude toward life; that we are meant to live a life without being bound by our human nature, but free in our spiritual nature. With that said it is on to my first entry.
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