It seems as though too often we have dreams for ourselves. Some are well within reach, others perhaps not so much. There are those dreams that we quickly dismiss as short-term fantasies and there are others that become the forefront of who we are and the direction our life goes. But how many of us have dreams that were only halfway reached and then forgotten?
For me it seems as though some of my dreams have been left in limbo. Sure I have accomplished goals in life, but dreams have taken a backseat for a while. Everyone that has asked me anything about my dreams has lead me to the same conclusion: either I have fulfilled all of my dreams, forgotten about them or never really had any in the first place. Unfortunately it seems to be some complicated mixture of all these.
I spent the the early years of my adolescence dreaming of being a youth minister. Strangely, the later years of adolescence were spent running from that dream. At some point about halfway through college something changed and the dream was renewed. I soon took on more roles in my church's youth ministry and was eventually brought on staff. After being there a few years and graduating college I decided to do what seemed like the next logical step. I went to seminary. That's when the path I was on came to a screeching halt.
No matter what anyone that knows me believes, it was not people that changed me. After my first semester everything that I believed had been so severely challenged that I was left not knowing what I believed anymore. I continued on for another semester and then decided that I might not be who I thought I was and that maybe ministry was not my calling after all. Soon after I moved and began a new journey.
That was almost three years ago and now I wonder if there was a hint of clarity in the midst of all the confusion and change. Was I dreaming what I convinced myself to dream or was it taking hold of God's calling on my life? Despite years of confusion, I do know that God has called me to something great. Every day I have to make the choice to take a blind step of faith forward or to look back down where I've been before. The path that moves me forward is the one that dares me to dream again, to fall in love with Christ like never before and to be intoxicated with His Spirit.
It might not make much sense now, but part of the journey is learning as we go. To live everyday in a genuine pursuit of God; learning to be a better man, a better husband and a better father.
"An authentic life is the most personal form of worship. Everyday life has become my prayer." -Sarah Ban Breathnach
